What a difference a day makes. I'd like to think yesterday was the dip on the roller-coaster and that with my considered decision and improved frame of mind, it's back on the way up. I realised something fairly obvious after my 'returning to work freak out'. Apart from leaving Felix, I have been increasingly concerned about leaving Angus. Due to proximity of work to preschool, travel times and peak hour, the hours he spends there would increase significantly. Not to mention the added stress on me, with rushing to and fro. So as my Dad used to say when I was feeling sorry for myself, "don't curse the darkness, light a candle" (such a Dad)... and that is what I did.
After much in depth thought, I decided something had to give in the schedule on the days I will be working. So instead of sweating on it a moment longer, I sent one email and surprisingly received the response I was after. A position for Angus in the preschool room, at the same centre Felix will be going to, is available... why didn't I think of asking sooner? With that, my solemn state lifted substantially. Like a little ray of sunshine, this seemingly small factor brightened my outlook on the situation. I can now rest easier knowing I am taking my boys to the same place and picking them up from the same place, which is a few short minutes away from my building. It's amazing how a simple rejig can make the world of difference to a worried Mama's mind. I'll still be emotional of course, but I have lessened the impact of the change.
There were no tears at preschool drop off this morning, which only added to my new found buoyant mood. Felix and I enjoyed our second last Friday together, with a spot of shopping and chilling out around home. I will miss our days alone incredibly, but feel so fortunate to have had the last 6 months of Thursday's and Friday's with it just being us. I shall carry these memories with me forever. My word, it has been fleeting.