Thursday, June 23, 2011

Best of friends, Worst of playmates

I've noticed an interesting situation occurring in the social world of Angus and his buddies. It has been happening for a while, but I only recently came to realise that it's not just Angus being the difficult one. In fact, following a couple of recent play dates and discussions with my friends, it turns out that all the kidlets around the 3 and 4 year old age bracket are doing exactly the same thing.

When they're not together, they talk about each other incessantly. Incorporating thoughts of their besties into everything they do. Angus speaks of Lilly and Charlie, Josh and Chloe, Fletch and Sacha. He ponders what they might be doing now? Do they like spaghetti bolognese too? Will they be going to preschool tomorrow also? and When will he see them next? He likens random children on the Tv, to these best pals of his. Because they might have the same hair or eye colour or same cheeky smile. And as I discovered, the feeling is very mutual towards Angus, with his little bunch of besties.

So why, when they do get together, for play sessions in the park or visits to each other's houses, do they automatically feel the need to disagree? To push and shove. To squabble and tell tales. To become ever so defensive and overly protective of their patch or belongings. And why is it only when it is time to say goodbye, do they fall all over themselves to cuddle one another to within an inch of their lives? I am sure it is just the age and hopefully with time, we won't have these intense encounters. Or at least the intensity will be lessened somewhat. It is just partly upsetting, partly frustrating and partly overwhelming for us Mama's to witness. We know the love these kidlets have for each other. We hear it, see it, live it. Day in, day out. We just want them to get along. And so begins a life time of difficult, awkward, confronting social situations. Breeeathe Mama.

5 comments:

  1. ooh its tiresome hey. we are going through this with our son atm too. Yes breathe!

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  2. Oooh - the mystery of these little beings.
    So confusing and perplexing. And a tad humiliating.
    It is comforting to know it's not just our own cherubs though, isn't it?!
    :-)

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  3. I have seen that with my grandkids. I guess it is all a part of the socialization and why it is important they need to learn. It helps them be healthy social beings.
    I am guessing! Go with the flow and breathe :)

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  4. I know this so, so well. I have a new plan where we only do playdates in neutral territory, like a park. It doesn't resolve the issues but it does reduce them, there's no fighting over toys at least!

    Good luck! It will pass, (I hope!).

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  5. My no5 is currently at this stage. He has even created his best friend on the wii so that he can play with him all the time at the weekend. Said best friend is a second child and first boy so has been a bit of a shock for my friend. The thing to remember is ignore it and enjoy your friendships with the other mums. Too many Mum friendships have fallen apart when we get to precious about our kids. They forget all about it while we tend to stew unnecessarily.
    As Corrine says you can't beat wide open spaces! xx

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