The twists and turns of life never cease to amaze me. Up and down and around she goes. Doors close in one direction, only to open in another. Keeping us alert, fresh and alive. Just four short months ago, I was tackling yet another momentous step on the Mamahood journey... returning to work. I know I wrote about it often, as it plagued my thoughts so much of the time, towards the end of my maternity leave. Then, the resilience of body and mind worked itself into a rhythm of sorts. Sometimes highly dysfunctional, but a rhythm all the same. But the shifting tides altered the flow once again and delivered me right back where I started. Though this time, the change is welcome. It's the change I've always wanted, if the truth be told.
Felix and I were reunited this week. I was blissfully reminded of those precious days, while Angus was at preschool, before my return to work in July. I was never ready, nor at peace with the decision to go back to the workforce. Just did what had to be done. As much as I may grumble and whinge and carry on about the enormity of Mamahood, I. love. it. Spending quality, one-on-one time with my baby cannot be surpassed, by anything else. So over the course of our two days together, we strolled the shops and made a start on our Christmas loot. Stocked up on groceries for the week. Walked 8km with my wonderful friend Amanda and her gorgeous little lady (and chatted our way through a lovely lunch under the trees). We soaked up sunshine and enjoyed each other's company.
And I couldn't help but feel a smidgen like Thelma & Louise, when we dropped Angus off, turned around, walked back out the doors and jumped in the car. Felix's squishy little face somewhat perplexed for a few moments. Looking at me with those big brown eyes, as if to say, "I think you may have forgotten something Mama". No more tear drenched, emotionally draining drop off's. No more twisting, kicking and thrashing as I hand him over for the day. And no more broken hearts each time he is peeled from my chest. For now, you will cruise with Mama, my sweet baby, where you belong... you and all of your 1001 facial expressions.