This afternoon I hit a wall. I think it was around 3pm. Might have been a little earlier. I'm not even 100% sure. All I know is that my body reached it's threshold of endurance, slowed, then hit the snooze button on itself. Literally.
It's been some time since I had a real day nap. A proper sleep induced malaise. Approximately six months from memory. I have mentioned before, how I would religiously nap each and every afternoon while I was pregnant with Felix. Angus by my side. Long, relaxing, naps. I may have had the odd ten minute power nap during the day since Felix was born. But they never last longer than ten minutes, as a particular three year old (who I like to call the culprit behind today's much needed nana nap) without fail, always bellows "don't go to sleep Mama" or "stop closing your eyes", just as I'm drifting off. But not today!
Angus has been going through a restless bout of late. Which just happens to be between the hours of midnight and 5am. Ahhh, the cruelest of hours to be restless. He doesn't cry. Doesn't scream. Isn't yelling out from his bed (thank heavens, as Felix is but centimetres from him in his cot). Instead he just appears in our room. It must be instinct or something such, as Scott and I are guaranteed to always wake as soon as his presence graces the room. Sometimes even before he's sauntered in.
It is such a manufactured process now. I'm like a programmed robot working a production line. Pick up my pillow, check. Stumble out of bed, check. March Angus (and myself) back to his room, check. Curl up like a faithful, old dog at the end of his bed, with my pillow, check (note: much easier to sleep towards the end for a more direct escape path once he's fallen back to sleep). Wake again. Dazed and confused. Sometimes twenty minutes later, sometimes two hours later, check. Retrace footsteps back to comfortable indentation in the spacious queen bed I share with my lovely husband. CHECK!
Even writing this process feels nauseating. So it's no wonder by 3pm-ish this afternoon, I hit the wall. At force. The whole hour I managed to nap for however, was pure bliss (incidentally, it was nicely positioned during Felix's afternoon nap time). I was able to regain some composure. Restore some much needed feeling to the mind, body and soul. Even kick the thumping drum that had been banging around in my head since first thing this morning.
At this point, I am choosing not to focus on the nana nap my sprightly three year old also indulged in this afternoon. Whilst also very out of character for him these days, I feel his midnight to 5am exploits leave him a little worse for wear in the daytime, so it was kind of warranted. With a little bit of luck, the extra energy he has stored from this won't come around to bite me at approximately 2.15 tomorrow morning. Or thereabouts. An uninterrupted night's sleep, now that is something we could all do with tonight.