Sunny Disposition

It would have been difficult not to feel good these past few days. I truly believe the warmth and sunshine influence me in profound ways. Together, they change the type of person I am. They make me the type of person I like to be. Poor Angus has been battling a cold and the night's have been fairly restless, with both of us camping out on the lounge, for everyone's comfort really. He sleeps so much better propped up with a myriad of cushions and pillows. I recall the very feeling this gave me as a child. Reassurance and coziness. I also get to watch him that little bit longer when he's on the lounge, before I lapse into slumber myself. I kind of like that.

Despite his cold, he has been super keen to soldier on during the days. We've taken leisurely walks, enjoyed plenty of park play and one of our favourite weekly rituals of visiting Nana and Pop. Sitting on the lawn, in the afternoon sun, observing my Mama and the boys busying themselves with weeding the garden and watering the plants. Seeing the boys racing back and forth on the little fire engine and exploring all the wonders of nature. I love all of it. It's simple, but it's this that makes me beam.

A mid week dinner with two gorgeous girls I'm lucky enough to call dear friends, was a nice way to spend an evening also. These girls have been in my life since we were 12 and although we don't catch up as often as we should, it's always the same sense of certainty when we do. Life itself changes constantly, but nothing between us ever does. I would love to be sitting around with these treasures, eating gourmet pizza and chatting the night away, when we're 80. A sunny disposition for this Mama of 2 boys, indeed.

Monday Musings

Lately, I have been thinking about my overwhelming propensity to misplace things. Like the garlic press that has gone walk about. Without a trace, it just vanished. Or the glue stick, Angus repeatedly requested I find for him today. I put it somewhere 'safe' and have no idea where that place could be. Or the missing beater for my electric mixer, which is bound to be in a cupboard somewhere, buried under a pile of saucepans and cake tins. Sure as eggs, if I buy replacements, the ones missing in action will show up straight away. They always do. 


I don't mind chopping garlic finely by hand and I can always pass glitter glue off as substitute for a glue stick AND I have made do with one beater when baking a cake. But the disorganisation frustrates me. If everything had a place and wasn't crammed into piles and systematically shoved into every spare nook and cranny, I may have a chance of actually finding things when needed. Something to work on.

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Over the weekend we tried Doughboy Pizza for the first time. Oh my, I don't know what took us so long to get on board the Doughboy train. As it states on the box 'quality since 1999'... so we've actually had a fair whack of time. The Hot Chick (what a great name!) was my pie of choice and it tasted soooooo good. Delicious crispy base, fresh and flavoursome topping. I do love a successful pizza find... and this one has the added bonus of the Pilsbury Doughboy adorning the boxes, cute!

Festival of the Winds

The things that make Sundays great: Colourful bunting and brilliant sunshine. Jumping castles and giant slides. Flags flapping in the breeze, against a bright blue sky. Enormous kites, itty bitty kites and every size in between, flying high and free on a sunny beach. Fun, laughter and endless community spirit. Farmyard animals and fascinated babies. Captivating street theatre and hand made pirate hats. Ball pits and hula hoops. Fresh corn on the cob and sizzling hot spinach and cheese gozleme. Long naps in the pram and quality time with my boys. Happy children and even happier parents.

We spent the day at Bondi Beach today, playing, enjoying, living the Festival of the Winds. A fantastic way to do Sunday. When I'm old and grey... or even in a few days time, when it might feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders... it's the days like this one that I want to remember. Good times. 

Lessons

I learnt a couple of important lessons this week. It seems for the first time ever, I overlooked the due date on my comprehensive car insurance premium. I pay my bills on time religiously and of all the bills to be late with, this one scares me the most. I've always had a belief that the minute I'm uninsured, something is bound to happen. Well I dispelled that fear, driving around for almost a whole month with only third party insurance. Yikes, it still rattles me to think about. The good part is, due to my lateness, I was required to call the customer service line to pay the premium. Normally I would pay online, as per renewal amount. But after a couple of details were updated over the phone, they actually revised my premium. To $400 less than the renewal! Four. hundred. dollars. The not so good part is that I could have been saving this amount for the past 2 years, but hadn't thought to update my personal details. Lesson learned. 

Child care fees are exy, actually downright astronomical. I pay ours monthly and it's a large debit all in one hit. When I set up the DDR, I chose credit card simply due to convenience and didn't think much else of it. Well three months of fees passed and this week was the first time I've properly looked at the statement of account from the child care head office. Boy, am I glad I did. In fine, fine, print on the original DDR there it was... 1.87% fee per credit card transaction. Needless to say, from now on I'll be saving a hefty $38 each month on pointless credit card transaction fees. Lesson learned.

I was feeling rather glum last night with the forecast of cloud and rain for today. Instead, it delivered beautiful Spring sunshine and a fresh breeze. It was still decidedly chilly down on the beach this morning. But it was also stunning and exhilarating and breathtaking. Nothing beats that crisp, clean, salty air. I should already know not to take weather forecasts as gospel. They are so often wrong. Another lesson learned.

Springtime

While I'm still very much a resident of struggle street this week, there are glimmers of light each and every day. I hold onto them with passion and appreciation. The sun has shone brightly and the rain has decided to fall only in the evenings. My favourite kind of rain. I love when it knows it's place and not to go messing around with my Spring sunshine.


A day in the backyard at my parent's place, while the boys entertained themselves (and us!) with the ride on fire engine Angus has been scooting around on since he was Felix's age. Zooming from one end of the yard to the other. Felix in the driver's seat, Angus the man power behind the speed and distance. My word they were cute and they gave Mama and I endless giggles. Days like these are just sweet honey for the soul.


I finally purchased a new camera which also gave me a bit of a thrill. Nothing super flash, but a decent little Canon digital, that has all the functions I need right now AND takes a lovely snap shot. Best part was I used some birthday vouchers given to me by my generous brother. So the camera ended up costing a good deal less. And of course, with the weather being so glorious, it's given us the opportunity for a couple of leisurely strolls to the local parks and shops. Just taking our time, breathing in the fresh Spring air and enjoying the moments when we're far away from the woes of struggle street.

Cool Runnings

Lately, I've been feeling rather blah. I'm not sure I even like that description... blah... but it's simple and easy and when I say it out loud, it sums up how I actually feel. It has resulted in more frustration, impatience and snappiness than I care to think about. Because things just seem harder, right now. The silly part is it doesn't take much to swing me either way. Completely in control and confident, to red hot stressed out and overwhelmed.


I do realise it is just a low point and that once I'm back to full health and the weather is consistently warmer and I actually get the chance to catch up with some of my girls, it will all become much brighter. It is such a fine line Mama's walk every day. The worry of guilt, fear of failure and desire for acceptance. Versus the joy of experience, fun of involvement and warmth of love and satisfaction. I think I live the full gamut on a daily basis. That's a mighty crazy day, by anyone's definition. That is why it is so important to treasure these moments, captured today, discovering my two little guys squeezed into the washing basket. Cool runnings style. The fact it all turned pear shaped just moments after I took the shots is inconsequential. I only have to look at these to know how very lucky I am.

Dada's Day

My Dad was 40 when I was born. It came as a shock to my parents who believed after six sons, their baby making days were well and truly over. I adored my Dad growing up. I had a notion that he was the strongest man in the world, that while ever he was there, nothing bad could happen. I distinctly remember following him around like a puppy whenever he was home. But he wasn't home all that much. Running his own business as a skydiving instructor, working tirelessly 7 days per week. Some of my fondest memories are of watching him pack the parachutes with intricate detail, for the coming weekend, when he would perform the actual jumps. He would often work long and hard, all day and into the night, in our purpose built garage. Looking back, it was a rather bizarre profession for a Dad. Though I thought he was the bee's knees. 


During my teens and into my early twenties, our relationship became decidedly strained. Typical teenage angst, coupled with the realisation that my Dad was not the perfect man I always believed him to be. I never stopped loving him, but we struggled at times to understand each other and it reached a point where I wondered if we would ever resurrect the bond that we once had. We did. Gradually, my appreciation of Dad returned. The acceptance that he is only human and along with my Mama, raised seven children to be good, happy, well adjusted adults. Comprehending the pain he suffered throughout his own childhood and teen years. Knowing that he is tougher and more resilient than I even gave him credit for. He is a pretty remarkable man, my Dad and although he can still drive me insane with his views and conservative approach to life, I love him. SO much.


Another fantastic Dada in my life, is my hubby. Fatherhood marched up to Scott, knocked on his door and changed his world. Whilst he may not be the most 'hands on' Dada when it comes to nappy changing, bathing and feeding the boys, he is one of the most proud, loving, dedicated ones I know. The little guys can't get enough of him. Much like my own Dad, he works long hours, so every single minute of time they spend together is precious. And they never waste a second. Reading, writing, drawing, building, throwing, catching, long walks and park play. Definitely the fun stuff. Though I wouldn't want it any other way. The look on each of their faces when they're playing together, is pure love. And it melts my heart.