Thursday, July 26, 2012

Finding the words

I had a beautiful piano teacher, from the age of seven. Sweet and kind and talented. A gentle soul, with a smile and helping hand for anyone. She found a lump in her breast when she was forty five. At forty nine, she passed away. The cancer returned second time around, in her spine. It didn't take long from that point. She left behind three young boys and a broken husband, who tragically died only a few weeks later from a brain tumour. Margaret's story has never left me, haunting is a strong word, but it kind of does, in a very distant way. Being so young when she passed, I was devastated, though for quite different reasons to the ones I feel when I think about her death now.


Today I received some upsetting news. My mother's group is a close knit circle of five these days. The five of us who gradually dwindled down from the original group of fifteen, have seen some tough times. Wonderful times. Memorable times. And one of these amazing women has cancer. She is my age and has two adorable girls. "Fuck!" was my initial reaction. And whilst she is being her usual positive, happy-go-lucky self and the prognosis is good, I am gutted for her. Gutted that she has to go through the next three months of pain and worry. As if life isn't ordinarily hard enough. Doesn't cancer know Mama's are off limits!? They don't need it's horrible presence threatening their family and friends. I guess it doesn't know babies and children, Dad's and the elderly are off limits either. It's just an indiscriminate monster and I wish I could grab it by the throat and strangle it. Because I can't, I am just going to be there, for my friend. If she needs me, if she doesn't, I'll just be there.

13 comments:

  1. Cancer sucks the life out of everyone and everything in it's path. Be strong for your friend and know that her phone may only ring 'in' for some weeks so keep the texts, support and meals coming x

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  2. I want to grab its throat too - it really breaks you. I spent five hours at the hospital today with my mum who is battling it - just over two months ago, we were living a happy life. Since the diagnosis and operations, she has been battling for her life. How can a little gremlin cause everyone so much grief?
    I wish your friend nothing but the best of luck as she tackles this monster and gets her life back on track.

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  3. Cancer is beyond rotten.
    Vile and rancid.
    I'm so sorry your friend (and those around her)is enduring this pain.
    There are no words, are there?
    xxxxxxx

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  4. Oh no Julie. So sorry to hear of your friend. xo

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  5. Cancer is a bitch! So sorry that it has got to your friend. xoxo

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  6. I am crying ... can only imagine how your friend and you must be going dealing with this.
    One thing I do know though is that if it was me I would love to have you as my friend to just be there. I think friendship though good and bad can be a big healer.
    Love to your friend
    x

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  7. That is all you can do Julie...be there :)
    I have been affected by cancer too many times to count now, it's just so devastating and leaves destruction in it's wake.
    Your friend will draw strength from those around her.
    xx

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  8. Oh Jules. Words feel so empty at these times. I know. She's so lucky to have you in her corner, that's for sure. J x

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  9. Friends are what she will need the most...my mum was 54 when cancer took her and I know other than family we needed her friends the most.x Sending you my prayers. xx

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  10. Julie, how terrible. Your friend is very lucky that she has you along side her. Hugs for you both.

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  11. So sorry to hear about this Jules. That must be so hard to go through when you have such a close group of friends. At least she has you all to lean on when she needs it and to keep her life as normal as possible through these tough times. Sending her and you all my love xx

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  12. Oh J, I am so sad to read this. Sending love to your friend for her battle. She is so very, very lucky to have you there for her xoxo

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  13. oh julie, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. and your piano teacher and her husband! I gasped out loud. the big C is all the things you said it is, I think there are very few people who have been untouched my cancer in their lives. I am sure she will find great comfort in the love and support you and your MG will show her during her battle x

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